You’ve lived an entire life being told to shut down any big expression of emotion — so of course when it’s time to cry at the end of that big important scene you have been worrying about–it does come. Actors need to to access a full and life-size palette.
Will you be able to open up when they call action?
I’ve been thinking a lot about all of the stuff–the entire life that you’ve lived, the messages that you’ve been given, which is: you’re too much so shut it down. Don’t show us how you’re feeling, it’s not okay to cry. It’s not okay to move your body how you want to move it.
So, of course, when you go to express yourself, when it comes time to cry at the end of the scene it doesn’t feel like you can. There are a lot of exercises out there I’m looking at that are helpful with undoing some of these things. It’s also important to acknowledge that there are a certain amount of protections we put up in the world. It would be a disaster to go around and be this open wound–but there’s also something that is different about actors who open themselves up in that way. You want to be able to do it when you need to. You want to be able to call on that stuff.